Monday, May 27, 2013

Random paranoid thoughts re: Zoosk


What the hell kind of name is Zoosk?

Sorry, where is the off switch for men with profile photos of them standing proudly next to their truck/ dead deer/ Harley/ four-wheeler?

On usernames: "Zoosk Member" does not win points for originality.

Nor does "Hooter Man" win points for sensitivity, even if you just really like owls. And "Peckerwood"? Really?

One wonders about the moniker “geterdone.” If “’er” constitutes a colloquial allusion to “her,” why does this mean a manly project like pouring concrete or mowing an acre of lawn or roofing a house? Is it in the same genre as her being used to refer to a boat or car  one drives or a country over which one rules? Or is it more specifically a reference to doing a woman? In any case—oh, never mind.

Zoosk asks, "Why are you deactivating your account?" Well, in the ten minutes I tentatively scrolled through my "matches," three men—oh, now fourlooked at my profile, and you, Zoosk, giddily shared this information in real time. You want to know why I'm deactivating my account? Let me put it this way: Where's the option to convey, I'm kinda creeped out?

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